Giving your animals names is the absolute best way to become better acquainted with the little buggers and formerly welcome them into your family. But while most people consider cats and dogs to be the only acceptable pets out there, many people forget just how loving cows can be as well.
Cows are very smart creatures, and while they may not be as smart as cats or dogs or even pigs for that matter, they are just as lovely to keep around, which is why for today we have prepared for you our list of the 100 best cow names that can help you turn that bovine friend into a family member in no time.
But before we can get started with our list let’s guide you through the basics when it comes to naming your new friend:
Tips for Naming Your Cow
Before you can actually start naming your cow you need to realize the fact that your cow is its own being, with its own characteristics and you should keep those in mind during the naming process. Also keep in mind the fact that a male cow is known as a bull or a steer while a female cow is known as a heifer or just simply refer to her as a “cow”.
The color of the cow is also usually a good representative of its breed and you can use it to think of a proper name for them. The angus cattle are known for their black color, while the Holstein cows are known for their black and white hair.
Another question you can ask yourself is whether your cow is a dairy cow or a beef cow. These are the sort of questions that will help you come up with the best name for your big friend.
Last but not least, we would like to mention the fact that if you are simply planning on having your cow become your meal once it reached maturity, then it may not be the best choice to give it a name, simply because that way you will get attached to it and that can end up being very sad for you when the time comes.
If you are just raising a mini cow as a pet though or for its milk then sure, naming it will always be acceptable, but just remember to keep that in mind before you actually start bonding with the cow. On top of all of that, owning a cow is a very big responsibility and that’s not something that everyone can handle.
If you live in the city for example you may need to abstain from buying a calf simply because they can be quite loud, and if you don’t have the funds to keep it in place you will find it just absolutely wrecking through your stuff when you come back to work.
Let’s not forget the fact that cows are very large creatures, that can easily trample through anything if they’re agitated enough, so don’t give them the opportunity to do so by trapping them in a small place and expecting them to never react to this incarceration.
Cows may be used to sitting in relatively small places but they can also get very anxious, very fast, so just keep that in mind so that you don’t end up with a lot of costs to cover.
Last but not least, before we actually jump into the 100 best cow names that we have in store for you, we do have to mention the fact that these are definitely not the only nicknames that there are out there for cows, so if you don’t like them then that’s totally fine, you can find plenty more without a problem.
This is our own personal list and while we do have a top 10 of the best ones that we love the most at the end of the article, let’s just say that we totally understand if you do not agree with us on that one. After all, these are your cows not ours, so you get to choose which one fits your cow the most, not us.
With all of that out of the way though, let’s start listing these off one by one, starting off with;
The Most Popular Cow Names
These are simply put the most popular names that farmers have been giving their cows for a very long time now, and although the order is completely random, they’re all more than perfect for any big boned grass lover out there:
- Sir Loin
- Winnie the Moo
Each of these will more than do the job for you and on top of that these are great because they’re so easy to pronounce and pretty much anyone can have a laugh with you when you tell them that you named your giant companion Princess or Muffin.
They are cute, yes, and honestly even if you have a male cow these can still fit perfectly because of how good-natured most cows are.
The Funniest Cow Names
While those may be the most popular ones that you could go for, we will definitely have to say that we prefer giving our pet cows funnier names just because they give them so much more character. Take for example:
- Bossy – This is the perfect nickname for any cow out there that loves to jump around a bit too much and especially so if they don’t want to listen to you when you tell them to go back inside
- Flossie – This one’s just adorable through and through, it is the type of a nickname that just rolls off the tongue and one that will easily stick because of its phonetic quality
- Big Mac – Cows are not ashamed of how much they eat, in fact, the more food you give them the more they’ll eat which is why this is such a funny nickname for them
- Holy Cow – Do we even need to explain why this one’s here?
- Mootilda – This one is especially funny if you give your cow a little ribbon too
- MooMoo – After all, aren’t all cows our little MooMoos?
- Flopsy – This one is especially great considering the fact that it literally means “The clumsy one” in old English
- Oink – Another self-explanatory one, it’s a great option that will get every visitor rolling when you tell them
- Pup – Sure, this usually refers to baby dogs but it also makes for a great name for cute calves as well
- Zenga – While definitely funny-sounding, this one also means “queen” in African which is honestly just really cool
The Best Celebrity-Inspired Cow Names
Using celebrity names is always going to be a good idea especially when it comes to your animals because they will never fail to put a smile on our faces. The fact of the matter is that these are really clever wordplays and we can never say no to a good pun, such as:
- High Heifer – Named after Hugh Hefner
- Kim Cow-dashian – Definitely one of our favorites
- Moo-donna – This one’s especially great if your cow’s very vocal every day
- Moo-ella Deville – Go for this nickname if you own a black and white cow, trust us it’s perfect
- Simon Coo-well – We bet he’d judge this one quite harshly, wouldn’t he?
- Donald Rump – Definitely a good way to start a conversation, but just beware, things will get moo-litical very fast
- Moo-ley Cirus – What’s that, you didn’t know she was Hannah Moontana the whole time?
- Leonardo Di-Cow-prio – If a bear ever attacks just know your cow can handle it with ease
- Milk-auley Culkin – With his recent return to cinema, we can safely say that this will definitely bring about a lot of smiles and laughter to any Home Alone fan, aka everyone out there
- Barack Moo-bama – Just a great choice all around for any occasion right here
The Best Male Cow Names
When it comes to naming your male cow there are quite a lot of options that you can syphon through and while some are definitely better than others, it honestly all depends on how well they roll off of your tongue at the end of the day.
So, take for example:
- Buddy – A great nickname for any occasion
- Duke – Quite fancy of a choice right here
- Homer – Regardless of whether you named him after the ancient Greek legend or the yellow funny man on TV, this is still sure to bring a smile to everyone that comes around
- Tank – This one’s very self-explanatory and honestly it makes for a great name for any bull out there
- Bull – If you want your cow to sound manly and very intimidating this may very well be the best choice for you
- Brownie – Sure, this one can double down as a female cow name too, but if you have a brown cow then we honestly believe that this one can do it justice regardless
- Bully – Sure this one may seem a bit violent at first until you realize the fact that it literally means “brother” in German.
- Diesel – There’s nothing manlier than calling your bull the term used for “oil”, especially if you have a black bull
- Ferdinand – This name has been used a lot in fairytales over the years and it can also be a very good indicator of your bull’s claim for the throne
- Francis – This one is great especially since it literally refers to “one who is free” which is definitely a good name choice for any bull that you’ve adopted into your family
- Cowboy – Yee haw
- Augustine – This one comes from the “Father of the Church St. Augustine which is always great regardless of whether you yourself are religious or not
- Ruth – Is it a reference to the legendary baseball player or just a random nickname? Your choice
- Lincoln – Everyone’s favorite president
- Jack – Don’t let go man, just don’t let go
The Best Female Cow Names
Now onto our female cow name category, let’s just say that we couldn’t decide on just one or two so here are all of the ones that truly stood out to us:
- Silvia – Cute and gentle nickname which translates to “The one from the forest” from Latin
- Stella – Yet another cute Latin-based nickname which means “star”
- Sally – One of the cutest names that literally translates to “princess” from Hebrew
- Scarlett – This is just a very powerful nickname that we can’t get enough of
- Vera – This is an old-timey name if we’ve ever heard one, and while we may not see a lot of Veras out there today, we can still find plenty of them in our barns if you look close enough
- Queenie – a very good option for the royalty that lives with you in your barn
- Rose – We all love flowers here, and since you do love your cow why not combine the two?
- Muriel – This one translates to “bright sea” from Celtic and that’s just adorable to us
- Moochelle Obama – A great nickname which directly references the First Lady “Michelle Obama”
- Mooana – What can we say except you’re welcome?
- Eve – This name translates to “life” in Hebrew and that’s the perfect nickname for the one that brings us so much joy every time we see them
- Esmeralda – A great reference to one of the best Disney characters out there
- Elsa – Similar to Esmeralda except a bit colder if you ask us
- Clementine – Alternatively you can also call your cow “Clem” if you want to make this even cuter
- Bella – This one’s just straight up adorable
- Annabelle – Just remember to always check on her during the day, because you wouldn’t want to see her during the night in the dark
The Best Colored Cow Names
If your cow is black then these following nicknames will definitely do it justice:
- Black Beauty
If your cow is black and white consider the following:
- Polka Dot
- Cookies and Cream
- Tuxy – short for Tuxedo
If your Cow is brown or red then these will definitely fit them perfectly:
If your cow is white then you can’t go wrong with any of these:
Another quick suggestion we have for you is to name your cow these nicknames even if it’s not their exact color. Calling a red cow snowball is definitely funny and a very good topic to discuss with strangers so you could always choose that option if you like the sound of them but you don’t have a color-specific cow to give those nicknames to.
Our Favorite Cow Names
While each and every one of these nicknames will more than do the job properly for your newfound friend, we personally believe that these are the best simply because they sound the most pleasing to us:
- Miss Marvel
- Mary Sue
Again, these are just our own choices right there, if you prefer any of the other nicknames or if you didn’t like any of these just know that there are a lot of other options for you to choose from and honestly, why stick to one opinion when there are just so many more out there to look through?
But before you can actually get started with naming your cow, we do need to reemphasize the fact that if you don’t plan on having it stick around for long then you should probably not be investing the time and emotion on giving them a name.
It is very cute and cows can really be extremely friendly and nice to you but if you get too attached then when the time comes for the butchering you may find yourself not wanting to get through with it.
Also keep in mind the fact that if you have children, they will definitely feel bad when the cow suddenly disappears so if you want to avoid all of the drama then just don’t name the cow in the first place.
If you are planning on raising a cow for a long time though or if you want a new pet to play around with every day then definitely be sure to use any of the nicknames that we chose above to name him or her.
Just remember the fact that each cow is different and giving it the right nickname is definitely going to be hard but rewarding at the end of the day. With all of that being said though, thank you very much for giving us the time of day here and we hope that this article was helpful enough for you.
We wish you good luck with your new bovine friend and even though times will definitely get tough when you’ll need to find enough room for them and clean up after them, just remember that you are doing this for a loved one and it’ll all be better in the end.